TAN PELUSKI
FOR MAYOR OF PORTLAND
You can avoid all of this by not voting for me but I don't think you want to do that.
Folks! Ladies! Soon to be Ex-Wives!!! Oh seriously now the Man About Town is running for Mayor again, still, always, and probably forever because nobody has stopped me yet and I don't know how to do anything else.... Really now I have been thinking about this city and what it needs and my liver has been screaming at me "Tan! Tan! Do something useful for once!" and I said back to it "Shut up you're not even supposed to still be working!" but here we are....
THE PELUSKI POSITIONS
Really now these are the issues that matter to the people of Portland, or at least they matter to me, and since I'm the one running I get to decide what matters....
VOTE FOR TAN
This is not a threat, this is a negotiation.
Really now I'm here to give you my best whether you want it or not....